How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
