I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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