Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
