fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
