Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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