who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
