Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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