fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
