if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize