Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
