this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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