haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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