Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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