Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
