No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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