Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize