my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
