sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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