I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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