i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
