I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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