I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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