I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize