I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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