K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
