what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
