Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He kissed a someone with a penis
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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