R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
