marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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