The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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