Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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