taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
