You made me cry and you don't even care
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
