You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
