I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think people are normalizing furries
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize