Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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