i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
