I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm at about main and main street
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
