I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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