what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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