I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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