In the future we'll all be gay
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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