Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
