i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
