I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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