it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
