drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize