Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
