I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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