Well apparently he's into motor boating.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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