Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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