toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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