please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
