So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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