Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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